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Archive for January, 2014

Cyndi SouderJanuary is such a promising month, but it’s daunting, too. With the New Year come New Year’s resolutions, goals, and those promises we make to ourselves that we will accomplish more, do more, be more. Each year, I have made those promises to myself but this year I took a long hard look at the negative effect that can have. My resolutions seem rigid and demanding and unforgiving: be more productive; waste less time; make more money; lose weight.

Well, I’m not doing it this year. I refuse to entertain that much negativity voluntarily. On New Year’s Eve, I posted this on Facebook:

“I feel the shadow of New Year’s Resolutions hovering nearby. I will not yield to the pressure. Every moment of every day offers us the opportunity to change. Declare the change you want, move toward it, adjust and realign as necessary. As a dear friend once told me, to affect change, you only have to adjust your trajectory by one degree. Small changes in everyday life can create significant changes down the road.”

To this, I would add a few more thoughts.

  • Be kind to yourself. Don’t overload yourself with edicts and pronouncements about all of the things you must do. Pick one and then make tiny changes toward your goal. Forgive yourself when you go off your path and simply start again.
  • Celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Pause for a moment, smile to yourself, and breathe in the joy of accomplishment.
  • Don’t feel guilty about doing the things that make you happy. You have to feed your soul. As they say on airplanes during the safety speech: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.”

If I did make resolutions, it would be this: honor the people and relationships you value. This morning, I learned that a close family friend has died. Aunt Alyce was not related to us by blood, but my mother loved her as a sister and named her a courtesy aunt to the six of us kids. She was my mother’s dearest friend, a strong influence in my sister’s life, and a truly good and loving person. I thought of her frequently, but I did not stay in touch as often as I should have. She died in July, just shy of her 97th birthday. Yes, it’s January now.

It’s time to take my own advice. I cannot go back and change the past, but I can start over and reach out to someone today. I can grieve Aunt Alyce’s passing and then smile and think of her whenever I’m sewing, which was her favorite activity. I can make a one degree change in my trajectory and see where it takes me. I wish the same for you.

Happy New Year.

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